Dropping ALLLL the Fat!

It's been quite a while since I've blogged.

Since May of last year, I've dropped a ridiculous amount of fat, and put on a ton of muscle. A few notable things have happened.

I am completely injury free!

I still dabble ;)

Remember that debilitating back injury? Well, it got MUCH worse since I stopped blogging. So bad that I had to quit my desk job, but thankfully I got approved to work as a personal trainer on Fort Drum, so I switched gears and took on clients full time. Yes, walking around and spotting/loading weight hurt LESS than sitting or standing in one spot. Go figure! I now know what they mean by "sitting is the new smoking."

My training is much different. 

I've pretty much scrapped low volume, powerlifting-based training altogether. Not to say I don't do the movements, but maximal strength training (1RM) is not the focus of my training anymore. I am doing much more hypertrophy training. Just the fact that I am injury free has allowed me to recover a lot of the muscle that I had lost during my hiatus.

My diet has been so-so.

Now here, I suffer! This is the leanest I've been at 21.6% body fat. My body is fighting me every step of the way, although I'd argue that it had always done that. I'm very goal-driven, so maintenance has been a struggle. I'm always either gaining or losing.

From ~170lbs / ~40% bf to ~148lbs / 22% bf

I'm MUCH more athletic!

Over the course of these last 6 months of solid training, I have started doing things I could never do before. Olympic liftig, pull-ups, box jumps, pistol squats, I even RUN sometimes. GASP! How weird!!


I can honestly say that my main motivation has, and always will be, my clients. I want to walk the walk, to show them that all this hard and terrible fitness stuff can be done by the average person. I want to show them that someone who works, goes to school, and who has limited time for themselves can still MAKE the time to meal prep, log meals, train, do cardio, and get into the best shape of their lives. I want them to be inspired and push hard, knowing that they can do it too!

So what's next?

This is a terrible question for me to answer. I hate that I'm always looking beyond and can never settle. In some ways, it drives me to be better, and in others, it makes me stack wayyy too much on my plate (literally and figuratively, hehe), which causes a lot of STRESS. I see my 24 hours as slots that need to be filled, scheduling as many clients, jobs, and appointments as possible, racing from one thing to another and doing TOO MUCH. I need to learn to chill and enjoy where I am at. That's definitely something to work on.

                                  

Until next time!

Mel

Getting Over Dieting Plateaus

Hello again,

After week one I was pretty happy about averaging around 157lbs without very much effort at all, but became busier with work, leaving less room for the gym. I still want to get a bit leaner for the summer and for our memorial weekend trip to NYC, so I buckled down and dropped quite a bit of carbs and fats during the week and hit a couple of new lows back to back. This allowed me to indulge a bit on the weekend and not worry about it all too much.

Cheat meal #1: Ribs, sweet potato, and a skinny margarita

A question that comes up a lot with my clients is how to live a normal life, enjoy going out on the weekend, and still reach weight loss or strength goals. Many of us want to be able to do both, without sacrificing one or the other. 

I'll be really honest. If I am getting ready for a competition, I do not drink. I usually don't even go out, mostly because I'd rather spend that time training without exhausting myself with activities. I don't go out to eat if I can help it, and I do not miss a single training session. In order to be competitive, there are certain things that I feel are necessary to do, and to give up. But that's only three months of your life, and in return you get the joy of getting on the platform, giving it your all, and knowing that you couldn't have done anything differently that would have positively affected your performance. The worst thing to happen on meet day is to wonder "what if" you could have done better. 

On the other hand, I think that having a well-balanced social life is incredibly important for mental health and well being. This includes social drinking, eating, and spending time with loved ones. And that's what your off-season is for. Unless you are really overweight, there is no reason not to have periods throughout the year where you are more relaxed in these aspects. I leave out those who are overweight because I believe that physical health is much greater priority than a social life, and a healthy body weight will improve your social life much more than drinking or eating with your friends every weekend. But I digress!

Morning after my cheat meal

after a low of 155.4 lbs the day before

There are quite a few "tricks" I would say that I use in order to allow consistent progress while maintaining balance. They're nothing necessarily new or exciting, just habits I've practiced in order to get really good at not completely falling off the wagon or freaking out when I'm invited to social events. 

1. Learn to fast without starving yourself. 

Leading up to a cheat meal, I'm usually so excited that I don't even want to eat my normal meals, mostly because I'm tired of chicken and vegetables and weighing all my meals by this point. I usually skip breakfast or have tiny protein filled snacks throughout the day. My favorites lately have been protein shakes, yogurt with berries, and nuts. I heard somewhere that your body doesn't absorb all the calories from nuts so I'm going to just pretend that's true and eat them every day haha.

What this does for me is ensure that I get protein throughout the day, but that my calories stay low enough that an uncounted, fatty or carb heavy meal doesn't completely blow my diet out of the water. Snacking rather than completely fasting also helps to not go on a complete binge when it's time to have your cheat meal. 

2. Order sensibly. 

Exercise caution during your cheat meal. After all, if your goal is progress, you have to realize that all of your cheat meals do count against you. The better choices you make now, the closer you will be to your goals later, and the less catching up you will have to do throughout the week to battle an uncounted meal or two. Make this meal about catching up with friends and having a good, relaxing time, rather than about stuffing your face with as much food as possible. 

Cheat meal #2: Burger with a side salad (swapped out the fries!)

For example, the meal pictured above came with fries on the side, but I swapped it out for a salad. You can also share a meal with a friend, or eat half and take the other half to-go. Just be mindful of your choices. 

3. Cut the crap.

During the weekdays, I have zero unnecessary calories. This really helps drop the total calories consumed throughout the week, which helps to drop more body fat. By centering my meals around getting in adequate protein, fruits, and vegetables, I make sure I stay regular, get in some nutrients, and keep my hard earned muscle. Some people don't like this approach, and would prefer daily "cheats" or "treats" and that's okay too, but at some point, if you're not making progress, you need to either cut those out, or increase your calorie expenditure by adding in more exercise. If you're one of those who claims you don't have time to exercise, you are obligated to go the "cut the crap" route.

I hope this helps some of you who may be struggling!

And for those of you interested in getting help with your nutrition or programming, click here.

Until next time,

Mel 

Diet Break Review

Hi everyone (ok, probably like one person),

After the close of the transformation challenge, I took a scheduled diet break. Before I get into the details, I just want to briefly go over what exactly it is I'm talking about.

A diet break, simply put, means purposely applying the breaks on eating at a deficit, bumping your calories back up to maintenance, and allowing your body and mind to get back to neutral.

I don't want to get into too much detail, but Lyle Mcdonald does a great job at summing it up in a way that's easily digestible here.

In the first two weeks, ate roughly 2000-2400 calories a day, but I also bumped up my exercise intensity to make up for a lot of it. I use a Microsoft Band to track calories burned, and according to its readings, I burned about twice as many calories as a training session in a deficit. I also kept up my cardio, but dropped it to only 150 calories a day, rather than the 250 I had been doing.

Naturally, with an increase of food volume, you are carrying more food weight in your gut, AND you are burning more calories through TEF. Not sure how these balance out without doing some ridiculous and unnecessary math, but basically, unless you are binging or not counting your calories at all, the fat weight you can gain in a few weeks' time is negligible.

My two week break became a three week break, as I had to visit family in LA for some personal reasons. If you know me, you already know what these are and I'd rather not get into it here. During that week, I did not do any training, and didn't count a single calorie. I spent that time with family, and in fairness was pretty distracted and to be frank, could not give a flying fart about my diet/training.

Now that I've been back for a week, I've been battling jet-lag, not training at all, but my weight between post-vaca until now has dropped 3 lbs, only 1 lb away from my all-time low during my 12 week cut. No training, no cardio. I'm willing to bet that again, most of this is reduced food volume/water weight, but it's still a good place to be when starting my dieting phase again.

I've been consistently weighing in around 157 point something, which allows me about 4-5 weeks of dieting before the Memorial Day celebrations start rolling around. My lower back is almost 100% better thanks to Dr. Kang's wizardry, so hopefully I'll be able to get under a barbell soon enough. For now, I'm going to continue following my current macros, and try to get my butt back into the gym.

Thank you for reading!

Until next time,
Mel

Bodybuilding Transformation Challenge Week 12 FINAL PICS!

Today I woke up at the lowest weight I've seen since about 2014, and since we are closing out the transformation challenge, I snapped a few progress pictures.

Morning weight: 156.8

There have been a lot of bumps in the road, but I figure in a span of three months life's going to happen. I really don't feel like I went out of my way to get super lean, I just dieted sensibly and made sure I got some training in, which you probably know by now if you've been following my blog. 

Three months of weigh-ins.

I made pretty solid progress the first month. Around month two it looks like I completely stalled, which is when I started implementing more steady state cardio after my training. Four sessions a week at 250 calories got things moving, but then I got prescribed some meds for my respiratory issues, and BOOM. I gained about 10 lbs in a week, not even kidding. I didn't log in all my weigh-ins that week because it was very discouraging, and I got super bloated. 

Holding a lot of water, roughly 163-165 lbs.

Right after I got off the meds (which did fuck all for my respiratory issues), I dropped all the weight and then some. I thought I had an extra week to diet since I was counting down by the date (April 10th), but realized the transformation ends (April 3rd) about a week ago, and I was super bummed because we celebrated Jake's birthday at the end of March, and I wanted an extra week to drop more weight from that weekend. Plus my "lady time" is coming next week and I always gain a few right before, and drop a bunch right after. Oh well, rules are rules. 

Straight from myfitnesspal log: ThisIsIt22

Looking back at my log, I'm very happy with what I see. I never broke my streak, and only missed about 6 days of logging my food. There are some days I may not have logged every single thing I ate, but for the most part, I know that I stayed between 1500 and 1800 calories a day, without too much deviation. I had one really silly day of eating, and I really have no excuse for that other than to say I'm surprised it didn't happen more often given my track record. Haha.

My starting photos vs. some good lighting from last night.

Altogether I lost a solid 12 lbs in 12 weeks, so I can't complain about that. I know I still have a long way to go, but now that I've re-learned how to diet properly and have had a little bit of success with it, I know that I can get to where I want to be, no matter how long it takes. 

My tentative plan is to take a diet break for the next two weeks. I'm going to loosely count and keep my calories closer to maintenance, at about 2,000, while increasing my training intensity. Hopefully my weight stabilizes here and I can start dieting again for summer. 

Until next time,

Mel

Bodybuilding Transformation Challenge Week 4 of 12

We're one month in, which means it's time for some progress pictures!

Everyone looks better in some good lingerie.

I've lost about 8 lbs so far, which averages out to 2 lbs a week, with a low weigh-in of 160.9. If I can keep up this rate of weight loss over these next 8 weeks, I'd be ecstatic!

I'm really glad that I decided to do this cut the "healthy" way. At this point, I have absolutely no cravings for "bad" food, and I wouldn't be able to consume very much anyway. The hubby & I went out to dinner for our cheat meal last night, and we didn't even order any sodas because we know it makes us both really bloated and lethargic. Our cheats are more for spending time with each other, not cooking and measuring our food, but still being relatively mindful of what goes in our mouths. I've learned that cheat meals will always set me back unless I'm able to be reasonable with my approach. It's not about the food anymore, it's about the time I get to spend relaxing with my hubbs.

This next week is going to be business as usual, I'll continue to prep my meals for the week in advance. I'm going to drop my calories by a smidge, and increase my cardio a bit as well. We'll see if we can get into the 150's by the end of this week!

Until next time,
Mel

Bodybuilding Transformation Challenge Week 1 of 12

All right guys,

We're officially finishing up the first week of dieting for bodybuilding.com's transformation challenge. I convinced the hubby to diet with me, so we're in this together! I'm super excited to have a partner in this challenge.

This week started off with a long flight back to Upstate NY from Los Angeles, and then I jumped right into a new job here in town, so my schedule was completely knocked upside down. Not only did I severely under-eat, but I also had zero energy for the gym because of the major jet lag and exhaustion.

I *tried* to get in most of my protein, but my coach has me on 165g, which is way over what I'm used to getting. I think I hit roughly 140g on my best day, and a poverty 80-100g protein/sub 1k kcals most other days. I basically turned into a bitchy sloth-zombie. I realized that if I'm going to function at work and not completely K.O. right when I get home, I need to get in more calories and more food. I still don't think I've hit over 1,500 kcals in a single 24 hour period so far this week, and I paid for it by getting this nasty cold. It's like every time I diet the whole universe plots against me succeeding. Just kidding, I know I suck at it and I just need to work on eating the RIGHT amount, and stop being such an extreme dieter.

I didn't really weigh myself in the beginning of this cut because I didn't have access to a scale, but I gave myself a generous starting weight of 170 lbs. My lowest weigh-in this week was roughly 162 lbs which is where I've been holding steady for several months now. My lowest weight of 2015 after my cut was around 157 lbs.

My goal for this upcoming week is to get over this cold (as if I have much control over this one), meal prep a little better so I'm not starving at work, and get to the gym or do home workouts at least three times. Hopefully this helps me get back into the swing of things so I'm not just losing all my muscle during this cut.

Until next time!
Mel

It's Time to Commit to a Diet

All right guys, this post has been a long time coming.

We all feel it right around this time. The colder months roll around bringing with them holiday celebrations, and all we want to do is cuddle at home with our doggies and some netflix, munching on holiday snacks between parties. Wait, is that just me? If the statistics about holiday weight gain are true, then probably not.

If you're anything like me, you bond over food. It reminds you of home, or of when you went out with that one special person whether it's a spouse or an old friend, and it's something you just default to whenever you set up a night out with your buddies.

But being in this industry, I've spent way too long making excuses for why I'm not dropping body fat. One of the main reasons was that I was afraid to lose my strength. This was a big fear for me because less calories means less energy for lifts, which means less gains. I don't have that excuse anymore.

Earlier this year, I had an elective cosmetic surgery (fancy way of saying I got new boobies), and in doing that I knew that I'd have to take at least 8 weeks off so everything could heal before beginning training again. When I got back to training, I had lost about 50 lbs off my squat and deadlift, and about half of that off my bench press. This was to be expected, so I didn't really sweat it. I had already started dieting to get some of the post-surgery weight off, and I felt really good.

Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 7 of dieting post-surgery.

Flash forward to a few months later, and my right implant had calcified. It was very uncomfortable and looked terrible. I developed capsular contraction of the right breast and needed to get a capsulotomy. This second surgery would remove the calcification, and result in another 8 week layoff from lifting. This really bummed me out, because it was an unexpected, unwanted surgery that eventually resulted in another 50 lbs off my squat and deadlift, and another 20-25lbs off my bench press. This means I lost 250 lbs off my total, which was almost 30% of my total!

Now that I'm already weak, I really have no excuse for not just dieting down and getting to a reasonable leanness. I've already put on a pretty good amount of muscle, and I really am curious as to what I'd look like under all of this fluff.

My chubbiest in 2006 at 172lbs,
140-145lbs in 2013,
built some mass at 160-162lbs

Long story short, it's time to cut the shit and get lean. Who's with me?

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

- Mel

The Ironic Rigidity of Flexible Dieting

WHAT IS FLEXIBLE DIETING?

Flexible dieting tends to be a much easier, more sustainable, and overall more pleasant experience than typical dieting methods that have been popularized in the last decade or so.

For the average overweight person intending to drop some fat for the summer months, an event, or for general health, it can be a very helpful tool to balance out dieting with a hectic work schedule and family life. Without referring to the atrocious over-popularized acronym--IIFYM *shudder*, flexible dieting can be used for weight loss, maintenance, or gain, all while enjoying a variety of foods as long as one stays within their calorie goals, while also being mindful of their macronutrient and micronutrient goals. 

When using these dieting methods, however, to be as accurate as possible, one must weigh out all of their meals, down to the ingredients if at all possible, in order to truly know the amounts of each macronutrient that's being consumed. This ensures that dieters hit their nutritional needs, while "fitting in" some junk food (for lack of a better term), when a craving or desire hits, allowing them to enjoy all foods in moderation.

However, some dieters have simply gone too far into a obsessive state of counting macros. Many "IIFYM" advocates tend to develop neurotic behaviors (if it has calories, it MUST be counted!) which, although an accurate use of the macro system, is the complete opposite of what a flexible approach should feel like. Counting gum, black coffee, artificial sweeteners, diet sodas, and herbs, and other super low calorie foods is not only a waste of time, but is really mentally obsessive and unhealthy behavior. Considering most food labels are partially rounded anyway, depending on FDA guidelines as well as each brand's own arbitrary systems, labels are not one hundred percent accurate. Not only this, but no matter how obsessively one track's their intake, one cannot possible duplicate each day's caloric output exactly, but can only estimate total caloric burn.


WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?

The best way to approach flexible dieting, if you're not in competition prep, is to allow your results to speak for themselves. Meaning that if you are getting closer to your goal week by week, allow yourself to loosen the reins a bit and allow for uncounted green vegetables, eyeballing a portion of almond milk, or a free meal here and there. Rigid loyalty to the method is nonsensical if you are accomplishing what you are setting out to do regardless. It's only when there is a period (i.e: as little as two, up to ten weeks for women) of no change in body weight, when you can either change your calorie allowance or tighten your counting methods.

Restrictive dieting (we've all been victims of this in the past), is typically NOT sustainable for the average person. We all have parties, events, social lives, and even work lives that don't allow us to be on a diet ALL the time. So what? Does this mean we have to give up? ABSOLUTELY NOT. This just means we have to account for those days! You CAN couple macro counting with free days.


A FEW APPROACHES

• If you have an event where you will want to enjoy yourself and generally will not want to diet through, you can account for a meal by limiting your earlier meals to just protein rich meals. A vegetable omelette for breakfast, a chicken salad for lunch, maybe greek yogurt or a protein bar for a snack, and then just enjoy your evening while still being mindful of your portions so you don't throw yourself too far off track. A good way to gauge portions is to have just one plate of food with a protein, a serving of vegetables, and a carb, as well as one drink and a dessert that you can share with a friend or your spouse. Resume your diet the next day. 
• If you have a weekend event, you can opt for a steeper deficit (if your goal is weight loss) for a couple of days before and after your weekend. If at all possible, try to be mindful of your meals during this time, and throw in an extra cardio session so you won't be thrown too far from your goals.  
• If you have an event, like a vacation, that will last a week or longer, do your best to time your diet so that your diet break coincides with your vacation. Typically a diet break will come after about 6-12 weeks of dieting depending on the leanness of the dieter. This way you can just take the entire week or two off from dieting and just live your life. Once your diet break is over, you can get right back into dieting with a clear conscience and get to your goals even faster. 

For personalized meet prep programming and nutrition, email melsmoves@gmail.com

Maxing Out After 10 Weeks as a TSAthlete!

My first block of powerlifting training as a TSAthlete is all wrapped up as of last week, and I finally got a chance to get under the bar for some honest max effort attempts to base my new training cycle around. We structured my max effort day similarly to a meet day, giving me three attempts at each lift before moving on.

I was incredibly nervous during all my attempts because this is the first training cycle that I did not train very close to my maxes. 

Now onto the numbers (in lbs).

Squat

1st attempt: 250 - Pretty easy

2nd attempt: 270 - Struggled a bit

3rd attempt: 280 - Easier than my second

I still had more in the tank after squatting, but we took into consideration that I had two other lifts to focus my efforts on, so we stopped here. Depth looked great, well past parallel on all of the lifts, which has been my main focus this last training cycle since my meet squats have notoriously been red lighted for depth. 

Bench Press

1st attempt: 130 - Easy lift

2nd attempt: 140 - Flew up, lifetime PR

3rd attempt: 155 - Failed :(

4th attempt: 145 - Went up slightly grindy, lifetime PR

I was a bit bummed to miss my third attempt, but that was just impulsive attempt selection, since the 140 flew up so easily. We made a mental note to be more conservative next time, and Coach Hani decided to give me a fourth which I obviously wouldn't get at a meet, but for setting up my next training cycle I think 145 is a fair number. 

Deadlift

1st attempt: 315 - Felt off, saw stars.

2nd attempt: 335 - Felt okay, went up fine

3rd attempt: 340 - Solid max effort lift, PR

My deadlifts definitely aren't advancing as fast as they used to, but I'll take a 5lb PR any day. I'm really happy about having 8/9 successful lifts, although you never really know if those lifts would have passed at a meet until you're actually there being judged. We finished out the day with a 760 total, or 765 if you count the fourth attempt bench press. 

I'm very happy with where I am with my lifts. I'm confident that most of these would have passed on the platform, and a lot of that has to do with the smart attempt selection by my coach. I'll be participating in the USPA Camp Pendleton Open again in 2015 which falls on January 10th, and I'm hoping to work up to a solid 800lb total by then. 

We are officially 10 weeks out!

Until next time!

Setting Goals for Success

These last several weeks and months have been incredibly eye-opening for me as an individual, a competitor, and a lover of the sport of powerlifting. Every single experience brings me one step closer to understanding myself, and giving me the capability to use what I learn to help others achieve their goals. Here are a few key ideas to keep in mind when aiming for success.

Figure things out

Pick a goal. Are you competing in bodybuilding, powerlifting, strongman or are you simply working out to be healthier, to lose fat, or to gain muscle? Whatever it is, you need to decide on it. Be reasonable, but don't limit yourself. Aim high! Create a timeline and set small mini-goals to keep you motivated in the long run.

Keep your eyes on the prize

When you have a goal in mind, focus all your efforts on the best possible way of achieving that goal. If your methods to attaining a goal conflict with one another, you will be spinning your wheels. One example of this is eating at a caloric deficit while running a strength-training program. You will get negligibly stronger if at all, or you won't be able to adhere to your plan and  you will drop a negligible amount of weight, if any. Be efficient with your methods to achieve optimum results. Time is the limiting factor, make sure you use yours wisely.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it

Stick to what works. Many of us over-complicate things trying to optimize them, when what we need to do is just stay consistent with training and nutrition methods that have consistently given us the results we want. What works for one person may not work for another, so once you find a program or protocol that works for you, your search is over. That's not to say that you shouldn't...

Keep learning about what you love

Your program may work well for you, but it's always fun to try new things if you have the chance. Learn, grow, challenge yourself, and keep yourself in the loop! Some of the most rewarding aspects in lifting isn't in just moving the iron around, but in the relationships that you can build and the discussions you can  have with those in the field. There are always opportunities to network and connect with people who can really open your eyes to techniques that you haven't yet stumbled across, and at the very least, people who have been successful doing what you love can motivate you to pursue your dreams as well!

But most importantly

Follow through and never give up! There may be bumps on the road, but you have to dust yourself off and get right back on track. Your success is in your hands.

Bryce Lewis, Barbell Brigade, & Training Updates!

The meet at Camp Pendleton is officially one month away!

Yesterday the team and I went to a powerlifting seminar at Barbell Brigade hosted by elite powerlifter Bryce Lewis. We got a chance to learn quite a few things about form and mobility, and Bryce gave everyone a chance to ask questions and get his help on their form. This was pretty awesome because most of the guys who attended didn't have much training under their belts, which made all the information that much more invaluable. I know if I had that kind of coaching, I would have been a lot better off at my first meet.

Seminar selfies

One of the important things I learned from the seminar was about bracing instead of arching during a lift. It's something that Dean (pictured, far left) had been telling me to practice, but until I saw Bryce show us the exaggerated version, I couldn't grasp what exactly my body looked like and how I was setting up improperly on my squat. My lower back is arched at the beginning of my squat, which is terrible for my spine and results in lower back soreness that tremendously affects my other lifts. Here is a good article on the subject that sums up what it is, and how to fix it.

Aside from minor tweaks in form and programming, I also need to dial in my diet over the next few weeks so I'll have less water to lose during peak week. I've noticed that a more controlled diet helps with my training as well as my mental well being during these weeks leading up to the meet. My OCD and anxiety goes through the roof without having a really strict game plan. I've even made charts and calendars, it's pretty ridiculous. My nutrition is structured so that I'm in a slight caloric deficit while carb cycling, which will help me shed weight while maintaining my performance during training days.

The plan is all laid out, all that's left is to execute it. Until next time!

Squat Progress

This past Sunday marked the end of the first half of my Madcow 5x5 training cycle. I've been making good progress on my lifts, and the squats on Sunday felt really easy so I went for a PR with a bit of coaxing from the team. Here are some videos:

180x5

210x3

A bit dark, but here's my PR vid -- 235x2

Aiming for a 700 lb total at Pendleton in January.

10 Gym Characters

If you've been to the gym, it's likely that you've run into a few people who fit into these categories.

10. Cardio Bunny

This is the girl who's always on the treadmill, usually fast-walking

 on an incline with what looks like the thinnest layer of skin 

covering delicate bones. 

9. The Meathead

This guy walks around the gym with his chest puffed up, 

fists clenched, admiring his physique in the mirror. 

Often can be found flexing mid set. 

*bicep kiss*

8. Selfie Queen

Usually can be found in the group fitness room

 with an exercise ball and a gal pal giggling

 and taking photos for Instagram or Facebook. 

Don't forget the #fitness tag!

7. Wheel Spinner

Comes to the gym year after year, 

but looks the same as the day he signed up.

6. Goal Switcher

Nobody really knows why this guy is here.

5. One-Upper

You gained 10 lbs of muscle during your last bulking cycle? 

You could have done better, bro, 

he did the Insanity workout, put on 15 lbs of muscle

 while dropping 10 lbs of fat in one month!

Photo unrelated to gym character listed above. Hehe.

4. Fit Couple

They come in together, he does curls, 

she watches and half-heartedly 

mimics his movements. 

So cute.

3. The Sleezeball

Hits on every girl at the gym. 

2. Gym Gabber

Talks to everyone. 

Middle of a set? It's okay! 

The gym will always be here, but will he be here to entertain you? 

Only for the next half hour, so enjoy.

1. The Flake

That friend who always sets up gym dates, but never shows up.

And of course we can't forget The Geezer, The Fitness Guru, Ms. America, The Grunter, Quarter-Squatter, The Bro, Van Damme, and The Distraction.

I'd tell you not to be "that guy," but you probably already are. It's okay, you have a special place in my heart at the gym <3